Category: Bible Study

Introduction

Emotions are a natural part of human life, but Jesus teaches us that we are not to be ruled by them. Instead, we should align our feelings with God’s will, practicing self-control, forgiveness, and humility. This study explores key teachings from Jesus in the Gospels, focusing on how to manage anger and other emotions, let go of grudges through forgiveness, and refrain from judging others based on personal biases or feelings. We’ll also examine how these principles apply in marital relationships, where unchecked emotions can manifest in resistance to God’s design for unity, such as non-submission or even violence. Examine Scriptures, reflect on their meaning, and consider practical applications. Gather a Bible, a notebook, and perhaps a small group for discussion.

Key Teachings from Jesus

1. Controlling Emotions: Overcoming Anger and Impulses

Jesus emphasizes that uncontrolled emotions, like anger, can lead to sin and broken relationships. In the Sermon on the Mount, He teaches that it’s not just outward actions but inner attitudes that matter.

• Matthew 5:21-26 (NASB): “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.”

  Reflection: Jesus elevates the Old Testament law by addressing the root, anger in the heart. Holding onto negative emotions without reconciliation hinders our worship and relationships. He urges proactive steps to resolve conflicts, showing that emotional control involves humility and action.

• Luke 6:45 (NASB): “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”

  Reflection: Our emotions reflect what’s in our hearts. Jesus calls us to cultivate inner goodness through faith, so our responses aren’t driven by fleeting feelings but by God’s truth.

2. Releasing Grudges: The Power of Forgiveness

Jesus repeatedly teaches that forgiveness is essential, mirroring God’s forgiveness toward us. Holding grudges based on hurt feelings blocks our spiritual growth and relationship with God.

• Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB): “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

  Reflection: Forgiveness isn’t optional; it’s tied to our own salvation. Jesus warns that nurturing grudges creates a barrier with God. This teaching challenges us to release emotional wounds, even when it’s hard.

• Matthew 18:21-22 (NASB): “Then Peter came and said to Him, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” (Followed by the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:23-35, where a servant is forgiven a massive debt but refuses to forgive a small one, leading to his punishment.)

  Reflection: Jesus uses hyperbole to show forgiveness should be limitless. The parable illustrates that grudges stem from forgetting how much we’ve been forgiven by God. Emotions like resentment must be surrendered to prevent self-destruction.

• Luke 23:34 (NASB): “But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.”

  Reflection: Even on the cross, Jesus models forgiveness amid betrayal and pain. This example shows that true emotional control comes from entrusting injustices to God, not personal vengeance.

• Mark 11:25 (NASB): “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.”

  Reflection: Prayer is a time to release grudges. Jesus links our forgiveness of others to God’s forgiveness, emphasizing that emotional baggage hinders communion with Him.

3. Avoiding Judgment Based on Personal Feelings

Jesus warns against judging others hypocritically, often driven by our own biases or emotions. True discernment comes from self-examination, not superiority.

• Matthew 7:1-5 (NASB): “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

  Reflection: Judgment often arises from emotional reactions or personal beliefs. Jesus uses humor (log vs. speck) to highlight hypocrisy. We must control our urge to condemn by first addressing our own flaws.

• Luke 6:37-38 (NASB): “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

  Reflection: This ties judgment to forgiveness. Jesus teaches that emotional judgments boomerang back, encouraging generosity of spirit instead.

4. Emotions in Marital Relationships: Submission, Self-Control, and Avoiding Violence

In marriage, emotions like anger, resentment, or frustration can erode unity if not managed biblically. For instance, unchecked feelings might cause resistance to God’s design for marital roles, such as a wife allowing emotions to hinder submission to her husband’s leadership. This can manifest as withholding affection, argumentative behavior, or passive resistance, stemming from grudges or personal feelings rather than trust in God’s order. Similarly, when emotions spiral, they can lead to verbal or physical harm, such as lashing out in anger, violating the “one flesh” union (Genesis 2:24, referenced by Jesus in Matthew 19:5-6) and turning a relationship of love into one of conflict.

Jesus’ teachings call spouses to prioritize love and self-control (e.g., Matthew 22:37-39 on loving God and neighbor, which includes one’s spouse). Uncontrolled emotions in marriage can lead to division, but submission and forgiveness restore peace. The Bible instructs wives to submit to their husbands as an act of faith, not based on fluctuating emotions, reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church.

• Ephesians 5:22-24 (NASB): “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

  Reflection: Submission is “as to the Lord,” meaning it’s not contingent on a husband’s perfection or a wife’s feelings. Allowing emotions like resentment to override this can hinder the marriage’s reflection of Christ’s love. Jesus modeled submission to the Father (John 6:38), showing that true obedience transcends personal emotions for a greater purpose.

• Colossians 3:18 (NASB): “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

  Reflection: “Fitting in the Lord” implies alignment with God’s will over emotional impulses. If emotions cause resistance, it may stem from a lack of self-control, which Jesus addresses in teachings like the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:21-26), where anger must be resolved quickly to avoid judgment.

• 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NASB): “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

  Reflection: This encourages submission through godly behavior, not emotional reactions. Jesus’ call to love enemies (Matthew 5:44) applies here, responding with grace, even when feelings urge otherwise, demonstrates faith.

The Bible also condemns violence in any form, including within marriage, as it opposes God’s call to peace and love (Romans 12:18). For those whose uncontrolled emotions lead to violence against a spouse, such as physical strikes, throwing objects, or aggressive outbursts, Scripture offers gentle correction focused on repentance and restoration, emphasizing mercy.

• Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB): “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

  Kind Rebuke: Dear sister or brother, if emotions have led you to harm your spouse, remember God’s grace in forgiving you through Christ. Let go of rage, as it grieves the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), and choose kindness instead. Seek reconciliation, perhaps with counsel, to rebuild trust.

• Proverbs 14:29 (NASB): “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.”

  Kind Rebuke: In moments of high emotion, pause and seek wisdom from the Lord. Violence from unchecked anger is folly that harms your marriage and witness. Jesus teaches turning the other cheek (Matthew 5:39) as a model of restraint.  Apply this by responding with patience, and God will honor your self-control.

• Malachi 2:16 (NASB): “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.’”

  Kind Rebuke: Though addressed to husbands, this principle applies mutually.  Violence in marriage covers one’s life with harm, betraying the covenant. If emotions have caused you to act violently, repent and guard your heart. Jesus’ forgiveness is available (Luke 15:7), and with His help, you can foster a home of peace.

• James 1:19-20 (NASB): “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

  Kind Rebuke: Beloved, anger that leads to violence doesn’t align with God’s righteousness. Listen first, speak gently, and let the Holy Spirit guide your emotions. Turn to prayer and community for support in overcoming this, as Jesus promises rest for the weary (Matthew 11:28-30).

Discussion Questions

1. How do your emotions sometimes lead to grudges or quick judgments? Share an example from your life.
2. In Matthew 5:21-26, why does Jesus equate anger with murder? How can we practically “settle matters quickly”?
3. Reflect on the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:23-35). What does it reveal about the danger of holding grudges?
4. How does Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7:1-5 challenge our cultural tendency to judge based on feelings or beliefs?
5. From Luke 23:34, how can Jesus’ example on the cross help us forgive when emotions run high?
6. What role does prayer play in controlling emotions, based on Mark 11:25?
7. How might emotions like frustration manifest in your marriage, and how can Jesus’ teachings on anger (Matthew 5:21-26) help?
8. In what ways does submission “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) transcend personal feelings?
9. If you’ve witnessed or experienced emotional violence, how do Scriptures like Ephesians 4:31-32 encourage healing?
10. How can couples apply self-control (Galatians 5:23) to prevent emotions from escalating in marriage?

Practical Applications

• Daily Practice: Start each day with a prayer surrendering your emotions to God. Journal any grudges or judgments, then actively forgive or self-reflect.
• Reconciliation Challenge: If you’re holding a grudge, reach out this week to reconcile, as in Matthew 5:23-24.
• Heart Check: When tempted to judge, pause and ask: “What’s the ‘log’ in my eye?” (Matthew 7:3-5).
• Community Support: Share this study with a friend or group for accountability in emotional growth.
• Emotional Check-Ins: Couples should regularly discuss feelings openly, using Matthew 18:15-17 for conflict resolution.
• Submission Through Grace: Wives, pray for strength to submit despite emotions; husbands, lead with love to make it easier (Ephesians 5:25).
• Addressing Violence: If emotions lead to harm, seek immediate help from a pastor or counselor. Focus on forgiveness and boundaries for safety.
• Daily Surrender: Both spouses surrender emotions to God in prayer, modeling Jesus’ submission to the Father.

Conclusion and Prayer

Jesus’ teachings show that controlling emotions isn’t about suppression but transformation through His love and example. By forgiving freely and judging humbly, we reflect God’s kingdom and find inner peace, especially in our closest relationships like marriage. Let’s pray: “Heavenly Father, help us to master our emotions as Jesus taught. Forgive us as we forgive others, and guard our hearts from grudges and judgments. Fill us with Your Spirit of love and self-control. Amen.”

This study was produced with assistance from an artificial intelligence provider when confronting challenges of the day.  It was not auto-generated, but rather given a research task to provide the proper references for the matters at hand.  Thank you for your attention and consideration of this important matter, that you may be lifted up according to the divine revelation of Jesus Christ.